01 November 2008

The Braamekraal Bean-Field War

We read, today, from the Book of St. John of See-More, Chapter 3:
Store thee the Grain of the Earth, and the Feed of thy Chickens in safe caches, where it be kept from the predations of The Pestilential Rat.

And succumb not to slothful neglect to Go After any such of this Pestilence as may take up residence in thy fields or in thy gardens.

Suffer not the Little Bastards to abide in thy Long Grass, thinking, as you may, "Oh, I'll set a Trap for them Tomorrow."

For Tomorrow may be Too Late, and ye may yet awaken from thy slumber to find an Unholy Proportion of thy bean crop Lying Down, severed in the prime of their growth by The Rat's Razor Teeth. And this shall cause ye a wailing and a gnashing of thine own teeth. And Dental Work may ensue. And ye may also suffer the humiliation of mockery by thy Blogging Peers. And also Hedge Wizard.

For ye may then find that thou hast insufficient Beans for thy Chilli when cometh the Depths Of Winter. And thou mayest resort to Store Bought Lentils. And this is Not Good.

So set ye the Death of Rats to work. Labour ye mightily until it be baited and filled with a good depth of water. Make the bait Tempting unto The Rat with a slathering of Peanut Butter.

And rest ye not until this be done. For The Rat hath surely a dozen babies growing fat on your Bean Crop and your Carrots and your Fennel.

Here endeth the lesson.

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